After 2 miserable days and nights of being sick, I figure something must be seriously wrong, so I braced myself for the worst possible news at the doctor today.
With each new test, my anxiety deepened. Maybe it’s the flu, or pneumonia, or a new untreatable superbug? Maybe its the first stage of lung cancer and the Grim Reaper finally has my number? Maybe a secret government experiment has gone horribly wrong, and I’m to become just the first casualty of billions in a new global Black Plague!!!
“Give it to me straight, Doc. What am I dying from? I have to know the whole terrible truth!”
“You have a severe case of “bronchitis vaginal maximus”, he explained. “You’re a giant pussy with a chest cold.”