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Category: Girlfriends and Wives

You have a girlfriend or wife? You have to laugh at these!

Pornstar Tourette’s

Pornstar Tourette’s

Pornstar Tourette’s:
(noun) The condition wherein a person¬†lacks the ability and/or creativity to verbalize complete sentences while attempting to talk dirty during sex, thus making themselves sound like a pornstar with Tourette’s syndrome.

She wanted me to dirtytalk her, but I could only say stuff like,¬†“Cock fuck! Lick slut! pussy, Pussy, Pussy!!!!”

But its not my fault, I have pornstar tourette’s. Don’t expect me to fuck you and tell you a story, too!

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Wife’s Low Expectations

Wife’s Low Expectations

I may have set my wife’s expectations for Christmas a little too low. She told me all she wants this year is “a new ironing board and non-stick baking ware”.

There is NO WAY I’m going to buy her an ironing board for Christmas, because I have a bunch of shirts that need to be ironed NOW.

Besides, I think a new vacuum cleaner, a thigh-master, and season tickets behind home plate would be much more thoughtful.

 

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